I’ve asked other people for advice, and the answer is usually “take one for the team,” have sex to keep them happy.Is that the only way I could find happiness in a relationship?Sex columnist Dan Savage, for example, regularly preaches the benefits of “open” and “monogamish” relationships on his hugely popular podcast. And yet none of the people in open relationships seem to have a problem with those.“Monogamy isn’t natural”, but neither is polyamory (or “ethical non-monogamy”, as it is also called). And much of what is acceptable now – homosexuality, kink, pre-marital sex – was considered to be aberrant back then, or still is in other societies.And poly proponents are quite passionate about their choice. Polygyny (one man with several female partners) and polyandry (one women with several men) is out of favour, but polyamory is gaining traction as a sexual/romantic lifestyle.The opposite would be someone who is shitty, selfish, and totally square in the sack.
It's a hard life, but now these sodbusters don't have to live it alone. LARP Passions allows users to choose specific options for the "hobbies" section like painting and wine tasting, as well as pole dancing, robotics, and mime.
I have (unwittingly) ended up on dates with poly men who explain to me earnestly that monogamy “isn’t natural”. And that’s fine, if it’s your cup of tea, but polyamory is no more natural or unnatural than any other form of human relationship. It isn’t a “love from the gut” kind of lifestyle, where everyone just does what they “naturally” feel like doing.
Every poly couple must negotiate a range of rules and boundaries, to suit their particular poly lifestyle. Of course, it’s tough to stay faithful to the one person for an entire lifetime. But that doesn’t mean the pursuit is without value.
As for “taking one for the team,” that’s not advice given only to asexuals.
SAVAGE LOVE » posted by DAN SAVAGE, Jan 15/15 What do I do about a soon-to-be wife who thinks watching porn should be on the dunzo list?