Realizing that practical steps matter, most often they want tips or steps they can take to build their relationship in Christ. (Protip: this last one is definitely not a winning approach.) At that point, one of the first things I usually tell them is that there's really no “biblical theology” of dating tucked away the book of 4:5-20. This can actually become a problem, especially because you're not actually married.There are some rather obvious tips like praying for each other in your daily devotions, encouraging each other to read the Scriptures, setting appropriate boundaries (emotional, spiritual, and so on), and pursuing sexual holiness. These devotions together can develop into a couple-centered spirituality that begins to replace the church-centered relationship with God that the New Testament actually prescribes.But I’m going to approach the text by gleaning some principles of divine guidance.Since it deals with God’s guidance as it pertains to finding a mate, I’m going to apply it that way.Finally, we need to hear an outside word that we can't quickly rationalize, twist, distort, or ignore. If your relationship becomes the center of their faith, the main and only encouragement they have in Christ, something has gone wrong. All four stand on their own as solid reasons to be committed to gathering (and being a member of) a local body.Who is there to support and encourage when you're having a bad day, or when your relationship needs a check because it's gone off the rails into sin? Even the best married couples need other, godly voices speaking wisdom, conviction, comfort, and healing grace into their lives. Whether you're a Baptist, Anglican, or Presbyterian, you want to be regularly reminded that Christ alone is the source of spiritual life—he died, rose again, and our union with him is the only true food for your soul. Yet all four play an important function with respect to your relationship to each other.
Is it possible to have a connection, attraction, compatibility, or the ability to make it work with more than one person during a lifetime? That being said, no matter what you believe regarding the existence of there being what some call a “soul mate,” it is absolutely essential to pray over your relationship.
It’s no wonder that people are concerned with knowing if they are with the right person.
While some people debate over whether there is really one person we are intended to be with, my theory is that God does have someone in mind for us.
Debra Fileta is a Professional Counselor, speaker, and author of True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life, 21 Days to Jump Start Your Love Life, and 21 Days to Pray For Your Love Life – where she writes candidly about dating, relationships, and how to find true love.
You may also recognize her voice from her 150 articles at Relevant Magazine or Crosswalk.com!